My name is Kelly and I’m 29 years old.  My story began on December 18, 2005.  I woke up not feeling well, but just felt like I had the flu so I called in sick to work.  As day 2 came, I was feeling much worse, very dizzy, tired, throwing up, short of breath, my heart felt like it was beating out of my chest.  I was just nearing the end of my period that day, and I knew with the dizziness I was feeling it wasn’t smart to drive so I called my cousin and asked her to pick up another box of tampons for me as I was all out.

By day 3, my entire body appeared to have a severe sunburn, I had developed thrush in my mouth, still very dizzy and disoriented, extremely short of breath and my heart was still pounding like crazy.  I started blacking out as I would get up to go to the bathroom and I remember running into the wall as I was so disoriented.  After losing control of my bowels in my bed, I knew I needed to see a doctor ASAP.  I didn’t know what was going on with me, still thought I just had a severe case of the flu.  I made an appt at the clinic, and by this time I was so weak I couldn’t walk without help.  As soon as the doctor took a look at me he knew something wasn’t right.  He noticed my blood pressure was extremely low, and then touched my skin and could see how red I was, then asked me when I had my last period.  I told him I just got over it but was wearing tampons up until the day before.  The first thing he said was “I think you have TSS”  He immediately called an ambulance to take me to the nearby hospital where I was immediately admitted to the ICU.

That day I had a central line put in, my family was told I wasn’t doing good and no one knew what was going to happen throughout the night.   Four days, 17 bags of saline, and many drugs later, I was told I could go home for Christmas!  That’s all I wanted was to be able to get out in time for Christmas with my family.  I went home very puffy and bloated from all the water weight, but I felt a million times better.  The doctors said it was a miracle, and because I was young and healthy I was able to bounce back so quickly.  For about a year after my TSS, I was experiencing some strange side effects.  Both my hands and feet peeled off completely and my hair was falling out in clumps.  I went to the Dr. several times during that first year because my body was still recovering from the shock which led to the peeling and my hair falling out.  Looking back, I had read that TSS insert in the tampon box several times and I had EVERY single symptom on that insert.  Thank the Lord my doctor was quick to diagnose as I don’t believe many doctors are educated on this.  It definitely is a miracle I’m here today!

My name is Gavrielle and I am now 16 years old.  On November 8, 2011, I came home from school feeling very sick.  I had a bad headache, fever, nausea and a sore throat.  My mom thought I had the flu or something that would run its course in the next 24-48 hrs.   It got worse the second day.   I was throwing up and started with diarrhea that night.  I couldn’t keep anything down.  My mom was going to take me to the doctor after my brothers got on the bus the next morning (11/10/11).   I wanted to go sooner!  I never felt so sick in my life.   I was throwing up all night and fell asleep on the bathroom floor.  At around 5am, my mom checked my throat again.  When she did, she saw that my tongue was completely white.  My parents decided that my mom should take me to the ER immediately instead of waiting to go to my family doctor.  We got to the ER and I remember having to sit down on the steps on my way in.  I was feeling so weak.  They took my blood pressure.   My systolic pressure was in the 50’s.   They hooked me up to IV fluid and ran blood tests.  The nurse thought I was just dehydrated and would probably be able to leave in a couple hours.  The doctor came in after he got the blood work results and said to my mom, “This is really bad.  She is in acute renal failure and her organs are shutting down.”  He could not understand how I even walked into the ER on my own.  They transferred me by ambulance to a hospital that would be better equipped to take care of me.  By the time I arrived at the 2^nd hospital, I was on my third bag of IV fluid.  As soon as I got there, they put a 4th one in my other arm.   They were going to put me in a regular room, but soon realized that even with all the fluid, my blood pressure was still dangerously low and my heart rate was very high.  They decided they needed to take me to the PICU immediately.  At that point, they still did not have a diagnosis.  I was septic.  My kidneys were functioning at 25%.  They didn’t know if I was going to have to start dialysis.  They ran endless tests and had a PICC line put in to start me on all kinds of heavy duty medications.   I had to be put on oxygen and was monitored to make sure my lungs weren’t filling with fluid.  After a lot of testing and exams, they determined I had TSS.   It was on that first day in the hospital that the rash appeared on my legs and stomach.  At that point, the doctors did not know if I was going to be okay.  With round the clock care from some incredible doctors and nurses, I started to slowly get better.  It was probably on the 3^rd day that they were able to say that they thought I would be okay.   It was rough, though.  I was throwing up for days and would have panic attacks that they attributed to the meds.  They had to put an A-line in to monitor my blood pressure since it was not coming up on its own.  I remember one night they had to draw blood, but couldn’t take it from the PICC line.  Some of my veins had collapsed.  They poked me in my arms, legs and feet for over an hour before finally getting blood.  Whenever they would have to change my meds, my bp would drop so rapidly that I would immediately turn white and become violently ill.  They kept me in the PICU for 6 days, and then sent me to a regular room once they were able to wean me off of the blood pressure medication.   When I was able to go home, they prescribed a very strong antibiotic for me to take.  After I left the hospital, other than the fact that I was very weak and scared, you never would have known I was even sick.  I don’t know how I was so lucky to have made a full recovery.   I do have nightmares and worry that I will get sick again.  Going through something like this definitely changes you.  My heart goes out to all the families of those that lost their lives to this horrible disease.   I hope that by sharing my story I can help get the word out.

A guest post by DeAnna Lam

I remember seeing a popular tampon ad when I was a girl in Israel, which said: “With tampons – every day of the month is the same!” At the time I thought it was a great thing. Wow! I thought, imagine that!

This was when my Mom still didn’t allow me to use tampons, saying I was too young. This left me feeling small, even though I was “officially” a woman. Tampons seemed like a mysterious prize, reserved only for the elite grown girls, of whom I wasn’t a part. The tampon ad served to cement my mystification with this forbidden fruit that came to symbolize adulthood to me.

My Mom was afraid of my hymen breaking by a tampon. Her unspoken communication conveyed much more than this. Underneath her words, the message seemed to say that once I was pierced by a man and lost my virginity, I would be free to insert a similar man-made contraption into myself. Of course she never said this, or even thought anything of the sort, but it occurs to me now that this is what lies behind it all: Penis-like, a tampon encapsulates clear societal messages that say: Plug yourself! Hide your flow! Become linear – let every day of the month be the same!

And for many years I did… I loved the convenience of being able to go swimming with a tampon. I liked that what I considered to be “A Mess” was under control. I easily forgot I was on my period, and surely I had all the days of the month be the same… Or were they?

Well, not exactly… Though I didn’t suffer any physical pain, I was irritable and moody a good few days of every month. I made no connection between this fact and my cycle, and I believed that “every day of the month was the same” because all the days looked the same on the outside… The story was very different on the inside, but I was so disconnected from my body that I had no clue about how out-of-synch I was.

The shift came when I decided to investigate. At some point feeling irritable and moody was no longer acceptable to me as the way things are. I came upon a health food store that sold menstrual cloth pads, and decided to give it a try, after reading a testimonial in which a woman declared she started happily anticipating her periods once she switched to cloth. I didn’t believe this was possible, but decided to check for myself.

My first experience of using a cloth pad was mind-altering. I actually felt my flow, consciously for the first time, and it felt good. I wasn’t “plugged” by a tampon anymore and the natural fluidity of my body felt authentic and real. Having to soak, rinse, and wring my cloth pads made me befriend my blood, rather than see it as “gross” (which our culture encourages us to do).

Above all, I reconnected to the essence of what our menstrual blood really is: the nutrient-filled inner lining of our womb, which would have nourished a baby through pregnancy had we conceived, and which is shed monthly when we don’t.

It’s been over two decades since I started this journey of self discovery, and it brought me far: I cherish and honor my flow monthly, and as a result am no longer irritable: I allow myself to consciously BE with each phase of my cycle. I found medicine in reclaiming my menstrual flow as a source of inner guidance and spiritual renewal in my life, and I have been teaching women all over the world to do the same…

His Holiness the Dalai Lama spoke of women as being the source from where world transformation will come. It is my firm belief that such transformation is rooted in us starting, as individual women and as a global culture, to reclaim our cyclicity as the equal & rightful counterpart to linearity, and in living our cyclicity to its fullest, letting the flow of our creativity, life force, intuition, and inner guidance spring forth unplugged!

DeAnna L’am, (B.A.) speaker, coach, and trainer, is author of Becoming Peers – Mentoring Girls Into Womanhood and A Diva’s guide to Getting Your Period. She is founder of Red Moon School of Empowerment for Women & Girls™. Her pioneering work has been transforming women’s & girls’ lives around the world, for over 20 years.

DeAnna helps women & girls love themselves unconditionally! She specializes in helping women make peace with their cycle, instructs Moms in the art of welcoming girls to empowered womanhood, and trains women to hold RED TENTS in their communities. Visit her site today. 

A guest post
by Ashley MacInnis

January 2012 was a pivotal month for me. At 24 years old, I was bidding farewell to an almost five-year-long relationship, which had stemmed to a five-month-old marriage. A single mum who had lost herself in her relationship and motherhood duties, I felt like a ghost of myself. Devastated at the loss of my relationship, I decided I needed to make some changes for me and improve some of the other relationships in my lives – namely, my relationship with myself: my health, my happiness.

I can still remember the day of my first period. My friend was visiting from another province, and I was wearing navy blue corduroy pants and a grey turtleneck sweater. I had turned 13 two months before. I was mortified. My mother gave me pads, and after my friend had left, we discussed menstruation in all its negativity: cramps, headaches, pads, tampons. My first impression of menstruation was that it was nothing but a pain (literally).

I used pads originally, for a few months, but the bunching and discomfort was no good for an athlete. My mom bought me my first box of Playtex tampons that summer so I could go swimming with friends, and I began to use tampons during the day and pads at night. Suffering from low iron, I was almost always anemic and would often get sick during my periods. I went on birth control to reduce the heavy, heavy flows and regulate my period. I had a period every 28 days, with a five day moderate flow, and one to two days of light flow or spotting. This was my life for the next nine years, when I got pregnant.

Following the birth of my son, my periods were different – irregular and sometimes incredibly heavy – and tampons were out of the question. Even though I had no internal stitches, I found them uncomfortable and sometimes even painful. I could ALWAYS feel it. Fast forward two years, to my separation.

I woke up one morning, made myself a coffee and sat in my living room while my son ate his breakfast and played with his trucks. A girlfriend dropped in and informed me I needed to pick myself up. We started talking about this and that, and she mentioned a new product she was in love with: The Diva Cup. After she left, I felt a little ashamed. I did need to pick myself up, make a meal and get on with it; I needed to show my son that I loved myself, that my health and my happiness were important. For some reason, the Diva Cup stuck out in my mind and on my next trip into town, I dropped by the Health Food store and bought one.

As I sat at home that evening, I looked at my purchase. For just under $40 dollars I had bought this bizarre looking creation, and I eyed it with a little bit of skepticism. Was it really that great? I hit the internet to check it out. What I found was a ton of good reviews. Not only was it eco-friendly (yay!), but it lowered – almost eradicated – my chances of Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS) compared to using tampons. Plus, it was good for a year making it economically friendly – a great bonus for a single mom, or anyone else!

The first insertion was a little tricky, but I followed the instructions, took a break and tried again. Success! The key was finding what worked for me. I bet I dumped it four times the first day, just out of fear. Within a few days, I was able to dump it twice a day – at 9AM and 9PM – perfect for my busy life.  With tampons, and my fear of TSS, I had to stop everything and change them every four-five hours. Who has time for that? Plus, I could wear it to bed – no leaks, no bunching!

I have spent my whole life avoiding things that would hurt me. I would never take amoxicillin (which I am allergic to), or eat spoiled food – so why did I voluntarily put myself at risk for TSS. How many times had I, as a naïve teenager, left a tampon in for ten hours or more? I thought things like TSS just couldn’t happen to me – and I was lucky it didn’t.

It sounds dramatic, but the Diva Cup was the first of many positive changes for me this January. I started eating better, and my inflammatory bowel syndrome has been reduced to irritable, at worst. I began working out regularly, and lost over 25 pounds. I rediscovered my athleticism, and am planning to run a half marathon next May. In January 2012, I decided to make my health a priority.

The Diva Cup works best for me for a few reasons:

• On my heaviest flow days, I only have to dump it about 3 times – morning, late afternoon or dinnertime, and just before bed (only as a precaution).
• I have found my periods to be shorter – Perhaps because I’m not scraping the walls of my vagina pushing in and pulling out tampons.
• Eco friendly – no plastic wrapping, blood soaked cotton, cardboard boxes, or feminine pads going into the trash every month.
• Economic – for about $40CAD, I am covered for all of my periods for about a year. That’s under $3 a month – and pads/tampons are expensive!
• No leaks!

Today, at 24, I have a very different outlook on menstruation. I can now see menstruation as a gift, a sign of femininity, fertility and health. I wish my Mom could have had this kind of positive outlook, or been aware (or open – she’s grossed out by my cup) of the other feminine hygiene products out there. I know if I ever have a daughter, she’ll know all about menstrual cups!

Happy Periods, girls! Be healthy and stay strong.

I was recently asked why it’s important for survivors of tampon related Toxic Shock Syndrome to share their stories publicly. And, why it matters if family members of those who died because of it come forth and share their stories.

It matters because it’s only when survivors (or family members) share their experiences that tampon related Toxic Shock Syndrome comes onto the radar.

Most are not aware that TSS is once again claiming lives, is once again a threat to the welfare of young girls and young women until they visit this website.

By sharing your tampon related TSS story, you open the door to the opportunity to help keep it from happening to someone else.  By sharing your story, you enlighten others and enable them to make menstrual choices that avoid the risk of tampon related TSS.  By sharing your story, you raise awareness about this horrible thing and the dangers that traditional tampons pose to women.

You have the power to save lives and to prevent what happened to you from happening to other innocent women.

SHARE YOUR TSS STORY – If you have experienced tampon related Toxic Shock Syndrome, you have a story that needs to be told! TSS is a real threat to young women today and your story has the power to impact the lives of countless young women and the potential to save lives as well.

Submission Guidelines – Submit your story in the body of an e-mail or as MS Word document (1000 words or less) along with a photo of yourself (at the age you were when you suffered from TSS) to Suzan: You ARE Loved’s Director of Connectivity (suzan @ you-are-loved.org – without any spaces).  Accepted content will be published on the stories portion of our website.

About You ARE Loved – We are a nonprofit organization committed to raising awareness about tampon related Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS) and providing factual information about menstruation.  The ARE is a reminder of Amy Rae Elifritz who lost her life (read Amy’s story and her mother’s powerful post Project Shocking).  Learn more about TSS via our informational brochure and the accounts of many women who have suffered.

More Information? - Please contact us.

 A guest post by Jenn Leggett

So with fall comes back to school.  And something lots of young woman will be learning to deal with are periods, and not the punctuation type.  I mean that monthly friend that all women get once a month.  I remember back to being in middle and high school and wishing that it was a good enough excuse for a sick week.  My whole period was a nightmare for me as a young woman.  I never knew exactly when it was coming so when it got close I was constantly worried about getting it, being stuck in class, not being able to be excused and bleeding through my pants.  I used to wear a sweatshirt around my waist to hide the unfortunate spot on my jeans.  I also remember the dread of trying to hide tampons and pads in my hoody as we had a school policy of not carrying bags with us to class, I was horrified that someone would see them and make some snarky teenage boy comment in front of everyone.  I also remember the time spend in the morning finding the right jeans, that I didn’t think would show the bulky disposable pads I was wearing.  It was quite a process, and left me a ball of nerves for the whole week.

What I wish I knew.

1. Periods are Normal.  Despite how uncomfortable they can seem during those teen years – they reassure all of us we are healthy.  With age come comfort and the insecurity starts to fade away.
2. Menstrual Cups Rock! I wish I had known about either disposable soft cups or reusable menstrual cups as they would have reduced SO much stress.  I could have put it in before I ever got my period – ‘just in case’ – relieving the stress I felt leading up to it and the accidental spots.  They can also be worn for up to 12 hours – so I wouldn’t even need to change it while at school at all!  What a sense of freedom this would have given me.  Yes they look large, but once they are in you won’t even know they are there!  The benefit?  These is almost no risk of TSS associated with these products.
3. Cloth Menstrual Pads. Ok yes they would have totally freaked me out in middle & high school.  But they are SO much more comfortable!  They don’t bunch or crinkle or stick to your skin.  They can come as big or as small as you need them and in so many cute prints!
4. Planet Wise Wet/Dry Bags.  These adorable little bags are perfect to store clean tampons and pads (either cloth or disposable) and they also have a pouch to store used cloth pads if you choose to use them.  They would have been so easy to carry around and not have anyone know what was inside.

So along with new clothes and new books this year try out a new menstrual option that may make it easier to be back in school.

Moms — have a pre-teen or teen?  You have so much more to offer than what a tampon is.  Make sure you talk about how to deal with these moments in school – and don’t try to get through the period talk as quickly as you can.  Help expose your daughter to other less main stream products that may be able to help meet the needs of active your girls today.  Provide them with samples of a range of products not just the ones you have used. Ask your daughter’s school how they deal with bathroom breaks, challenging them to be sensitive to young women’s needs. Find out what they cover during health class.  Also moms – how about you try out a new product as well – if you have confidence using something else, not only might you find a new favorite product but you may be able to help give your daughter(s) a new sense of freedom.

Teachers & Schools — I would also challenge you to be more aware of girls needs.  Allowing them to go to the bathroom on demand without waiting 20 minutes for the lesson to be over.  Allowing them to carry small bags around with them to make them feel more comfortable.  Making periods a less taboo topic and cracking down on the negative period talk.  Include comprehensive health education including educating girls about a whole range of menstrual care products – not just today’s standard disposable pads and tampons.

With young lady’s getting their periods earlier and earlier, there is even more of a need to address the needs of young lady’s in schools – even as young as elementary school.  With all the products currently on the market there is no reason for young girls to worry about the hassles of school and periods.

Have a great fall semester!
Aunt Flo

Invitation! On September 14 you are invited to a special online educational event co-hosted by You ARE Loved and Be Prepared Period featuring Jenn as a special guest.  This one hour event (2:00 – 3:00 p.m. Eastern) will explore common issues adolescent girls face in preparing for and managing their periods at school and when away from home for activities. Additionally, we will explore some tips for starting an ongoing conversation with your daughter about menstrual matters.  

Jenn Leggett is  the babywearing, cloth diapering, eco-friendly mom behind Earthy Crunchy Mama, which grew out of her desire to create a healthier life for her children. She understands that her most important job is Mom to 2 beautiful boys, Cole (3) and Max (1). When she is not spending time with her boys, she is working at Earthy Crunchy Mama.

A guest post by 

I was “lucky” and was a bit of a late bloomer when it came to getting my period.  My mother sagely exclaimed that ‘I was a woman now,’ and handed me this atrocious book about how our bodies worked.  My mom used pads, and therefore so did I.  I honestly don’t recall discussing alternative or periods with anyone at that time, especially any peers.   Those were sparse at that time as we had just emigrated from the UK.  Funnily, I don’t even remember talking about periods with my best friend at the time.

What I do recall is crippling cramps and heavy, heavy periods during my teen years.  I remember missing school and curling around a hot water bottle to alleviate the pain.  I recall being terrified of leaks and hated slinking away to the washrooms to clean myself up throughout the day.  I hated the sense that I was supposed to hide something that was totally normal and pretend that it did not affect me in any way.

I cannot imagine a child younger than that immature 13 year old having to deal with the physical and emotional issues that surround menstruation.  I hope that – as a mother – I am able to prepare my two girls (3 and 8) to manage their own entrance into puberty and ‘womanhood’ in a manner that will make it far easier to endure.

The one thing different in our house is that our family is very open about our bodies and what happens with them.  The bathroom is not a private place unless you remember to lock the door.  Thus I get a lot of questions about what I am ‘doing in there’ and have found that being simple and honest has been the best for both my girls and my son.  Mostly my answers are greeted by ‘ewwww’s’ but that is fine.  These little discussions usually lead to bigger talks from my 8 year old when she is ready to sit down and talk on her own time about the changes in our bodies.

One fairly new question has been about the cloth, reusable pads I am now using.  I am very fortunate to be friends with the ladies behind Lunapads and a free sample from them was the start of my ‘reformation’ to the more ‘natural’ side of periods.   This has been a bit of a slow journey for me.   I recall years ago at a craft fair buying a cloth pad and gifting to my girlfriend more as a gag than anything.  I don’t think she ever used it.

I think my light bulb moment hit when I also had FINALLY tried cloth diapers for my third child.  Here I was happily washing and scrubbing the end products from my offspring, why then, was I remotely hinky about my own ‘end products’ to put it politely?  What difference would it make to be washing cloth products for me?

The decision to switch to the cloth pads also coincided with deciding to never ever use birth control pills again.   I had come to realize after getting through pregnancies that I really liked knowing my body and its rhythms.   Being able to know how I was supposed to feel without chemicals telling my body what to do was very liberating for me.  Why then – I thought – would I keep using something artificial like disposable pads (or tampons), things that were totally unnatural and potentially unhealthy.

Switching to cloth pads has been amazing for me.  By the end of my monthly cycle my labia and pubic bone would feel red and raw from the disposable pads.  I would hardly be able to wear one at night for the itching and discomfort.  For me, there was no alternative, I wasn’t used to tampons, had tried and never been happy or secure with them.  The cloth diapers were something that just had not occurred to me and I can’t believe I endured so many years without demanding a change.  For me it took the experience of four pregnancies and the laying out of my vagina for a cast of thousands to see, prod and poke to realize that it was up to me to take control of my body and how I wanted it cared for.   I wanted something soft and nontoxic up close and personal with my vagina.

This thinking was crucial to me fully realizing myself as a woman and what that really meant.  So much of what we think is the ‘norm’ is purely marketing on a cultural scale.  We are told to hide our periods and mask our natural scents, cover our faces with makeup, shape this, fake that….all by companies who have no thought but to make money and make us buy our products.

I don’t want that for myself or my kids.  I want my children – the girls and the boy – to understand what their bodies are supposed to do and supposed to feel like.  They need to feel comfort and joy in their selves without shame and without pressure from our commercialized culture.    It took me 42 years to figure it out; I want to ensure that it doesn’t take that long for them.

Kerry Sauriol is the Vancouver mom behind the blog Crunchy Carpets.  She has three children and sundry pets and tries to balance it all and keep her sanity. Her blog focuses on the juggling act called parenting. In her case the act of juggling a preschooler, two burgeoning ‘tweens,’ and keeping them all out of therapy when they are older.

Kerry has spoken at Northern Voice, been seen and heard on CBC, and featured in the Globe & Mail.  Beyond children, her other passion is social media and she runs a social media management company called SAHMedia.  You can find her on Twitter at @CrunchyCarpets.